Innermost Thought

Sheeba
October 7, 1996 - February 2, 2007

I am sad to say that my dog, Sheeba, died on Friday night. I believe she had a heart attack. If you happened to meet her, you would know what a beautiful dog she was and how much she added to the quality of my life. I willl miss her.

That said, I believe I'm doing well. She was just over 10 years old and had been dealing with subtle health issues her entire life. When I first got her she was 6 years old.

I knew our time would be short. While I always held hope she'd live until at least 14 (German Shepherds rarely live past 13 years,) I fully expected that the end would come with months of deterioration, eating less and less, lethargy and illness would gradually overtake her and that one day I would be making a decision to put her down. I believed I would be prepared. This is not what happened with us.

This week we had taken to sneaking into the Toddler Park near our house if it happened to be unlocked during our midnight daily walks. I would let her off the leash and she would chase snowballs, or one of her toys that I had brought. It was quiet and gently cold and private. I remember one night she'd grown tired of the play and made her way back to the gate. She turned to look at me, waiting for me to catch up, as if to ask if I could be ready to leave too. It was an odd moment and though surprised she'd be ready, I walked to the gate and we came back home. Now that she's gone, I know those moments of the last week were our goodbye. Quiet and lovely and gentle.

Friday morning on our ritual walk, she was fine and lively, eagerly waiting past the fake commands of "snuffleupugus" and "juicy fruit" before getting the real command of "your free!". I believe she had a good day and at the end of it she lay down to rest. While the initial shock was heartwrenching, I believe this is a good way for a good dog to go. It's a good way for any living thing to go.

So if you think about it, I hope you'll raise a glass the next time one is near, to my good dog Sheeba as she has passed to new, albeit greener pastures.